Why You Should Always Go All In

The day I brought my son Jack home from the hospital, I was a total disaster.

It had been a natural home birth ? turned hospital birth (complete with four failed epidurals) ? turned emergency C-section. By the time my then-husband tucked me and baby Jack into bed, everything felt calm and cozy.

Until he left the room for 90 seconds.

He came back to find me hunched over our newborn, sing-crying Aerosmith’s “I Don’t Wanna Miss a Thing” into his tiny face.

The Gut-Punch Realization

I wasn’t crying from pain or hormones.

I was crying because it hit me like a freight train: one day, this tiny, perfect creature would have his heart broken. ?

And there would be nothing I could do to stop it.

Worse — I shouldn’t stop it.

Because that’s life. Because the full spectrum of feelings — joy, grief, heartbreak, loneliness — is what makes life real.

You can’t fully feel the good stuff without having felt the hard stuff. It’s like never knowing how good a hot shower feels unless you’ve just been freezing cold.

Without the extremes, everything becomes lukewarm. And who really wants a lukewarm life?

Watching Him Grow Into Heartbreak

Flash forward. Jack is almost 14 now.

He’s at that stage where his first real heartbreak is likely coming soon – whether it’s a breakup, rejection, feeling left out, or not measuring up.

This is the phase where I have to stand on the sidelines and let it all unfold. The inevitable moment I’ve been bracing for since the day I sobbed Aerosmith into his newborn face.

What I’ll Tell Him

A girlfriend asked me recently: “When that does happen, what will you tell him? What do you want the takeaway to be?”

Here’s what I came up with:

? Never stop going fully in.

Because when we get hurt, the temptation is to retreat – to show less, feel less, hope less. But that’s not living.

The Two Options We Really Have

In love, relationships, and risk, you only ever have two choices:

• Option 1: Hold back.
  It doesn’t work out, and you’re left wondering if it failed because you never truly gave it everything.
• Option 2: Go all in.
  It doesn’t work out, but at least you know you were fully yourself and gave it everything you had.

I’ll take Option 2 every single time.

That’s why I’ve never understood people who say, “I just don’t want to get my hopes up.”

Holding back doesn’t cushion the blow. It just means you didn’t get to enjoy the ride, the anticipation, or the full spectrum of feelings.

And isn’t that the whole point? To feel it all? To get excited? To give away what you want to get with your whole heart?

Always Go All In

Whether it’s a relationship, a dream, a big idea, or a new chapter of life, the only real option is to go all in.

Even if it doesn’t work out, you’ll walk away knowing you lived fully, not halfway.

That’s what I want for me. That’s what I want for Jack. And that’s what I want for you.