Recently, I was reminded of one of the most surprisingly profound lessons I ever picked up… from my ex-husband.
We were juggling some kid-schedule swaps. I wanted to take Jack for a couple of extra days, so we pulled out the fall calendar and made some weekend switches. He’s always easygoing about changes I request, and I try to be the same for him.
Later that day, while I was out walking the dog, he texted me:
“Thanks for being good on all this!”
It made me laugh, because my instant response in my head was a line he used to say to me all the time:
“Yeah, hey, I’m not here to ruin your life.”
The Deeper Lesson Behind a Simple Line
Ironically, when we were married it sometimes felt like we were ruining each other’s lives. But over time, that playful phrase stuck with me because it revealed a powerful mindset:
“I’m not here to ruin your life” really means:
Saying yes to the things that light someone else up.
Creating ease instead of creating friction.
Giving even when it’s a little inconvenient.
That’s not just a cute co-parenting motto. It’s a core life strategy for building strong, meaningful relationships.
The Core Value I Now Live (and Teach) By
It wasn’t until recently that I realized this philosophy is really just a playful version of a core value I teach inside my CEO THE SHXT OUT OF LIFE® program:
? Give away what you want to get.
Because the truth is, nothing will get you more of what you want faster than giving it first.
You want more love? ? Give more love.
You want more recognition, praise, and gratitude? ? Give more recognition, praise, and gratitude.
You want more easy-breezy, friction-free co-parenting schedule changes? ? Be the one to offer easy-breezy, friction-free changes.
The only person you can control is you. Which means the best way to influence what you receive is by giving it away.
The Catch: Give Without Strings Attached
Here’s the hard part (sorry!): you can’t give with the expectation of a quick return. If you attach strings or keep score, it turns into a transaction and you’ll end up frustrated.
The real reason to give away what you want is because it’s who you want to be:
Generous
Gracious
Grateful
When you adopt that mindset whether it’s with your ex, your partner, your friends, or your community you create a life that feels like a ten. For you, and for the people lucky enough to be in it.
Ready to Build a Life at a Ten?
This is the work I help women do inside my LIFE AT A TEN® Program: create more purpose, connection, fun, and fulfillment by living in alignment with practical strategies like this one.
If you’re a high-achieving woman who’s ready to stop running on autopilot and start building a fxck-yeah kind of life ? Book a Discovery Call with me.
Because giving away what you want to get isn’t just a nice idea, it’s the foundation of a meaningful, strategic, connected life.
Want more random-ass but real-life INSIGHTS like this?
It gave me a brand-new perspective, plus practical steps to make real changes. - Leslie G.
It's not about talking about your issues to death (keeping you stuck in victim mode). It's having ultimate accountability + taking action to get the life you want.
Comments +